This weekend was really awesome in some ways, and absolutely horrendous in others. I hope I can do justice in documenting it.
Thursday night:
Steph and I took the overnight bus from Glasgow to London. Let me warn you, folks. Not a good idea. While very cheap, it SUCKS. We had hoped to spread out (like everyone else) but ended up having to sit together, which while fine, it just meant neither of us had much room. It also meant I didn't sleep. At all. The bus itself was noisy, it was too light (for me), and the seats were uncomfortable. The only good thing was the wi-fi. Finally at 4ish I gave up trying to rest and listened to the Red Sox rout the Yankees, which gave me enough adrenaline to function once we arrived in London.
Friday:
Once we arrived we set up camp in a Starbucks for a while (waiting for the commuter rush to be over) and had coffee and breakfast. The pancakes were pretty good, IMO. We hung out there for a while and then got on the Tube and headed to Leicester Square. We walked around a bit, and then got more coffee at Costa and figured out the rest of the day.
We then got the tube and a train to Crystal Palace, where our hotel was. Now, google maps really fucked up on this one and had us walk this RIDICULOUS way to the hotel up 2 massive hills where I was actually convinced I was going to have a heart attack and die. My ankle was killing, I was starving, and I was walking up this hill that was insane. And did I mention it was raining and I am carrying a heavy backpack?
We finally got to the hotel (early) and sat waiting for the room to be ready. Finally, it was- all I wanted to do was sleep. I didn't care that the restaurant that was advertised to be a part of the hotel didn't exist. I just wanted to sleep. I did just that.
2 hours and change later, Steph woke me up. Now, at this point, I really wish I had just told her to go on without me. I was that tired. (and in hindsight I wish I had). I finally dragged myself into the shower and got ready. We found an easier way to walk back to the train station and on the way stopped at a restaurant called the Grape and the Grain. I had a falafel sandwich, and it was really, really good. I was starving at that point and was planning on stopping at the first place we saw, I just needed to eat as it was a long time since those pancakes.
We ate and then headed to the train station and took the train back into the city to go back into Leicester square. It was our plan to wait for David Tennant and Catherine Tate after the evening performance of Much Ado.... (this was the backup plan in case when we see them later in the month that we had a chance for autographs). When we got there the barriers were up, but no one was out waiting yet, so we figured we had some time to kill. We wandered around and went to Amorino for gelato (the best gelato in the world IMO)
It was raining, so after the gelato, we found refuge in little shops, trying to stay dry. It was at this point I began to get very panicked and nervous. I have issues with social anxiety, which I think was the main contribution to being so panicked, and being exhausted- also a trigger. When we arrived back at the barrier, Steph was so excited, I knew I couldn't ruin this for her, so I said I would just wait for her away from the theatre....
I paced around for a bit, and then decided so I went to get a coffee across from the theatre. I ordered from the take away menu, but they had me sit down and they'd bring me my coffee. They did and asked me to pay. Now the menu said £1.80 and they now told me it was £2.70. I explained I had asked for take away as I didn't have the £2.70 ( I had £2.66) and they didn't take cards either. So the waitress went away to ask about it and came back and told me that they would have to take the coffee away and told me I needed to leave immediately. (So they would rather lose 4 pence than put the coffee in a take away cup and give it to me?) Humiliated, I walked away. What I didn't know, was that this wouldn't be the most humiliating part of my evening yet.
I walked around back to the front of the theatre, but across the street to wait. A group of quite possibly very drunk people came up to me and shoved me into the grate behind me, and walked away laughing. Not much later, some random guy walked past me, said "fat bitch," and spit on me. (Luckily I had a napkin in my pocket.) I was humiliated and embarrassed, and I felt terrible- like I was back in high school being bulled and barked at on a daily basis. And then of course (since I am doing my dissertation on bullying) began thinking of others who have had it so much worse and I realized I was getting a bit desensitized to this kind of behaviour, b/c when I tweeted about it so many people were in an outrage - (while I was blaming myself for how I looked, how I am, how I can't seem to get myself under control and lose weight and how painful doing some things is there by perpetuating the entire thing in a vicious cycle.)
Steph came back from getting Catherine Tate and David Tennant's autographs a little after, and I was very happy she was happy and glad she was done, b/c I just wanted to go back to the hotel- which we did after a bit of difficulty in trying to get a cab back to the hotel ( I was too tired and sore to walk the mile in the rain and dark.)
Saturday:
Saturday we had a big day planned. We needed to check out of the hotel, go to Barking (on the other side of London) to Big Finish day to meet Colin Baker and Sophie Aldred, and then go back to the other side of London to Clapham Common to see INXS. (When I made the original plans I was just going to the concert alone, and then when I won 2 tickets Steph decided to come with me and then we found out about Big Finish day, hence the back and forth.)
We headed out, got money and breakfast and took the overground, to the DLR, to the train to Barking. We weren't 100% sure about the directions google maps gave us, so we took a cab to the location (good thing as the maps had it wrong). We wandered around looking at merchandise and pictures and whatnot waiting for the celebs to come back from lunch.
Finally we got a chance to talk to Colin Baker. He was funny and gracious. I told him we found his tweets funny, and he asked what my username was- I told him what it was and that I was the one who kept asking for the Bayban avatar. He laughed and said he was trying to find a picture and would change it soon for me. :) He signed for us and then we went on our way to meet Sophie Aldred who took a picture with the Plushies for us!
She also signed for us and then we decided we had enough of the con and headed off to make our way to Clapham Commons. We had time to kill, so we stopped at Starbucks to have a coffee before heading over.
We finally went over to the commons, and found a place to sit and relax. It was nice out at that point, and there were plenty of people to watch and it was nice to just relax.
Finally, INXS came on and I was so excited. I jumped around and danced and sang along. ( I am going to make a separate blog entry just for the show)
As soon as the show was over, we had to book it to the tube to get to Victoria station in time for the bus. We made it just in time (had the tube not kept STOPPING for no reason, we would have had plenty of time.) The bus driver was very rude to me and told me that usually they leave 5 minutes early (if you leave at 10 you should leave at 10) and that we should have gotten there earlier. I explained that we got lost trying to find the bus area as it isn't attached to Victoria. He didn't care and told us we couldn't bring dinner on as it was hot food. (what is the friggin' difference between a hot and cold sandwich). I didn't care, I shoved it in my bag and ate it anyway. I was starving!
We couldn't even sit together on the bus b/c people were all spread out and wouldn't share or move so we could sit together. It was extremely rude and I was really pissed off. And the guy I ended up sitting next to kept spreading over into my seat- at one point I was sitting on the handle and had no where to move- I was going to sit on the floor in the aisle at that point! I didn't sleep at all again, and I was SO glad when we got back to Glasgow.
We got home at about 7ish, I changed and passed out until about 4 in the afternoon, got up and ate dinner, and went back to bed. I am still tired now, but not as much.
And how was your weekend?
Showing posts with label pics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pics. Show all posts
13 June 2011
13 July 2009
about me (image heavy)
Hi, I'm Cindy, and you might know me from ! Yes, I am such a dork. A dork who needs to lose weight.
My story:
I've always been heavy. Except for that short time in 2001 when I weighed 140 or so. Too bad there is no photographic evidence of this so it never happened. But it did.
I was a heavyish kid. Not super obese by anyone's standards.
Here I am at 12 or so. I think I was going into 7th grade. I don't look awful. I think I thought I did. I wasn't nearly as skinny as any of my classmates and I wasn't allowed to play sports. I probably would have been heavier but I rode my bike/scooter/walked all the time and everywhere when I was younger. I lived in a really safe neighborhood and my parents had no issues with me riding my bike w/ no helmet down huge hills, but I couldn't play soccer b/c I might lose an eye. *eyeroll*

Here I am in high school, maybe my junior year? I was a 13/14 in high school.

By my senior year I was either fatter or dress makers didn't make size 14 dresses. I couldn't find a dress for the prom. My mom would have paid whatever to make me happy but there were NO dresses. I ended up wearing the dress I wore my soph. year. I don't have any pics still, I will ask my bff, above.
By college I was like whatever. I met people who liked me and didn't care about my weight so I didn't really think of it. In my junior year I lost some weight and was down to an 11 and was able to share clothes with a girl who I considered skinny.
In New Orleans in 1996~ I'm the one with super super red hair all in black.

Around the same time....

After college, I was at my heaviest. I weighed 225 in 1999-2000. I don't have any pics from then. I was miserable and disgusted with myself. So I worked out, ate tons of egg whites and drank a lot of coffee. I had a good support system and then I ended up breaking up with that boyfriend and going out with the evil ex.
In 2001 I got down to about 140ish and maintained that for a short time. I think this is from that time period or maybe a year after when I had gained about 20 pounds back. I'd be happy at that weight right now; 160ish.
Me in N. Conway.

My family

After that, combined with not working out, having a crappy relationship and his mom's good cooking, and moving back home, I steadily gained the weight back.
2002/3? with my mom and sister at my grandmother's bday

2005: with my girls meeting Jon Farriss

2005 at the Timlin 5K w/ Mike Timlin

So since then I have gone up and down 5-10 pounds. In 2006 I gained 10 pounds and was at my heaviest since 2000 and weighed 211. I was angry at myself and decided to go on Optifast. This is a medically supervised weight loss program where you consume 890 calories a day in shakes and bars. It is for people who are seriously overweight or who need to lose weight for lap band/gastric bypass. I lost about 12-13 pounds in 3 months. On 890 calories a day and I was running 3 times a week then. It was very frustrating and the dr's there had no idea why I wasn't losing weight.
Before I went off the plan I found I was getting dizzy and almost passing out. I found that my b/p was dropping to around 60/30 WHICH WAS NOT SAFE. I said fuck it and went home and ate a pizza. Seriously. It was not working for me at all. I was bitchy and hungry and the shakes tasted like ASS and were expensive as all fuck.
So since then I have not lost any weight despite trying. (or not trying sometimes). I have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) and it is hard to lose weight when you have this which is a cause of PCOS. Oh the drama. I've also been experiencing excruciating headaches for the past 3 years that seem to be idiopathic. I've seen 5 primary doctors, countless ER doctors, and am about to see my third neurologist. It has not made working out easy. It is hard to move when your head is splitting.
Last summer w/

Me and Bronson Arroyo this winter

Head shot on NYE 1/09

Head shot 7/11

I will get L. to take a pic of me today for comparisons.
At any rate I would be happy to lose 40-50 pounds. Currently I weigh 198 and I am 5'1.5". I "should" weigh 120ish but I do not think that will ever happen unless I have weight loss surgery or lose a limb.
So what I will be doing is posting my workouts and what I've been eating and please feel free to make s
uggestions/yell at me/etc.
If you read this far I am impressed.
My story:
I've always been heavy. Except for that short time in 2001 when I weighed 140 or so. Too bad there is no photographic evidence of this so it never happened. But it did.
I was a heavyish kid. Not super obese by anyone's standards.
Here I am at 12 or so. I think I was going into 7th grade. I don't look awful. I think I thought I did. I wasn't nearly as skinny as any of my classmates and I wasn't allowed to play sports. I probably would have been heavier but I rode my bike/scooter/walked all the time and everywhere when I was younger. I lived in a really safe neighborhood and my parents had no issues with me riding my bike w/ no helmet down huge hills, but I couldn't play soccer b/c I might lose an eye. *eyeroll*
Here I am in high school, maybe my junior year? I was a 13/14 in high school.
By my senior year I was either fatter or dress makers didn't make size 14 dresses. I couldn't find a dress for the prom. My mom would have paid whatever to make me happy but there were NO dresses. I ended up wearing the dress I wore my soph. year. I don't have any pics still, I will ask my bff, above.
By college I was like whatever. I met people who liked me and didn't care about my weight so I didn't really think of it. In my junior year I lost some weight and was down to an 11 and was able to share clothes with a girl who I considered skinny.
In New Orleans in 1996~ I'm the one with super super red hair all in black.
Around the same time....
After college, I was at my heaviest. I weighed 225 in 1999-2000. I don't have any pics from then. I was miserable and disgusted with myself. So I worked out, ate tons of egg whites and drank a lot of coffee. I had a good support system and then I ended up breaking up with that boyfriend and going out with the evil ex.
In 2001 I got down to about 140ish and maintained that for a short time. I think this is from that time period or maybe a year after when I had gained about 20 pounds back. I'd be happy at that weight right now; 160ish.
Me in N. Conway.
My family
After that, combined with not working out, having a crappy relationship and his mom's good cooking, and moving back home, I steadily gained the weight back.
2002/3? with my mom and sister at my grandmother's bday
2005: with my girls meeting Jon Farriss
2005 at the Timlin 5K w/ Mike Timlin
So since then I have gone up and down 5-10 pounds. In 2006 I gained 10 pounds and was at my heaviest since 2000 and weighed 211. I was angry at myself and decided to go on Optifast. This is a medically supervised weight loss program where you consume 890 calories a day in shakes and bars. It is for people who are seriously overweight or who need to lose weight for lap band/gastric bypass. I lost about 12-13 pounds in 3 months. On 890 calories a day and I was running 3 times a week then. It was very frustrating and the dr's there had no idea why I wasn't losing weight.
Before I went off the plan I found I was getting dizzy and almost passing out. I found that my b/p was dropping to around 60/30 WHICH WAS NOT SAFE. I said fuck it and went home and ate a pizza. Seriously. It was not working for me at all. I was bitchy and hungry and the shakes tasted like ASS and were expensive as all fuck.
So since then I have not lost any weight despite trying. (or not trying sometimes). I have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) and it is hard to lose weight when you have this which is a cause of PCOS. Oh the drama. I've also been experiencing excruciating headaches for the past 3 years that seem to be idiopathic. I've seen 5 primary doctors, countless ER doctors, and am about to see my third neurologist. It has not made working out easy. It is hard to move when your head is splitting.
Last summer w/
Me and Bronson Arroyo this winter
Head shot on NYE 1/09
Head shot 7/11
I will get L. to take a pic of me today for comparisons.
At any rate I would be happy to lose 40-50 pounds. Currently I weigh 198 and I am 5'1.5". I "should" weigh 120ish but I do not think that will ever happen unless I have weight loss surgery or lose a limb.
So what I will be doing is posting my workouts and what I've been eating and please feel free to make s
uggestions/yell at me/etc.
If you read this far I am impressed.
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