NEW SITE

Please visit Cindy at http://neophytegirl.net!

Commence freak out . . . .NOW

I have a lot on my plate right now.  I need to finish my dissertation.  I'm waiting to hear if I got into the PhD program.  Right there, is enough.  What I don't need is the added stress, is that I'm almost out of money.

I knew living on student loans wasn't going to be easy.  But I also didn't expect the added financial strain of having to replace things b/c my flat was broken into.  Hence, the money I would have still had and needed, and everything would have been perfect as punch.

But no.  

So I now need to weed through my belongings and see what I can sell, pawn, and whatnot, so I can pay my rent and utilities for August.  At least I have a good 2+ weeks to figure this out.  

And let's hope I get into that PhD program, b/c I certainly don't have any money for a flight back to the US. :/

I have a secret

Not only do I have a fabulous change to share very soon, but I also have a secret.   I really want to tell, but I'm afraid it may be too good to be true, so I am going to hang on to it just a little bit more.

I met with my advisor today.  He is pleased with my dissertation so far.   *phew*   I need to add a lot to my intro, and my chapters on policy, and add a total new one (that I will now have to research!) but it's all good.  He said I do not need 2 weeks to print and bind, so I have the rest of this month to get it done.  *double phew*  He even said to take the weekend off!  HAHAHAHAHA as if!  I did take the rest of today off to do household chores like cleaning, vaccumming, dishes, laundry, etc, and to take a glorious nap.  I didn't sleep well last night.  I was worried about oversleeping the alarm!


As I was cleaning and putting things away I managed to break my dresser.  

Who manages this?

WTF?

So now I have a pile of clothes on the floor, and no glue or tools to fix it.  *sigh*









I'm going to go read something unrelated to my research and relax.


What do you think my secret is?

Watch this space...

FOR A VERY EXCITING CHANGE IN THE NOT SO DISTANT FUTURE!

I'm Not Sorry

This blog post idea, stolen blatantly from Joanna.  Check out her blog.  She is a friggin' hoot!

I'm not sorry I changed the name of my blog.  Again.  A woman is entitled to change her mind.  :)  It needed a change, and I am glad I did it.  All the previous posts are still there, if you care to peruse.

I'm not sorry I have not drunk the correct number of glasses of water lately.  I need the caffeine to keep me going as I finish this dissertation.

I'm not sorry for bitching incessantly about this dissertation.  I am stressed to the gills and I need to let it out somehow, or I may explode.

I'm not sorry I haven't worked out.  Ok maybe a little bit sorry.  It would probably help with the stress.  But right now when I need to choose between writing and sleep or working out- well you know which one is going by the wayside.  (There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and in a week or 2 I will be back to the sane person I usually am HAHAHAHAHAHA!)

I'm not sorry about that really bad joke I just made.

I'm not sorry I went to London last week and got no work done.  How many times in life am I going to be able to say I saw David Tennant performing Shakespeare?

I'm not sorry I just spent 15 minutes writing this up.  Sometimes I need to get away from bullying, cyber bullying, and bullycide.  How I don't spend the entire time writing sobbing my eyes out is a miracle.

What are you not sorry for?

True Confessions Tuesday

Please do not read if you are offended by the liberal use of the f word (and all its cognates) or if you don't want to read about my screw ups and probably my terrible spelling b/c I am typing in a rage.

1.  I think I totally fucked up my dissertation.  I've never written one before and I was given no real guidelinews- I was told just to do it.  Well that is what I did.  And I have been writing it like an essay- actually more like how the book I hope to write using this as background would go.  Which apparently thanks to Steph and her finding a book on writing a dissertation, (PHEW) IS WRONG.

I'm supposed to have a research question and a method.  Well you see, after I came back from ther states there wasn't time to get my research approved, so I have just been doing it as an essay, not with the planned way I had with the research and the bunnies and everything.  (Ok no bunnies, but whatever). 

So now I need to figure out if I can salvage the 10K words I have written without having to start over when I have about a week, 2 at the most to finish. 

Of course my advisor is away until Friday.  FML.

2.  The above is all my fault.  I just have had such a hard time getting back in to it..since I came back from the states...and I just want to cry and yell and scream because I am very fucking angry.  I fucking miss her and I hate this and everything.  It is not fucking fair.  And before you ask, I have talked to someone, 2 someones in fact and it didn't help.  I am sorry but there is no in your time of need angel sitting on my fucking shoulder right now.  I think that is a load of bollocks- no disrespect to those of you who believe that, but I don't see it. 

3.  I have no idea what I'm doing.  I have no idea what is going to happeb after this dissertation- if I can pull it off and get the degree and get into the PhD program.  Good.  Brilliant. Fantastic.  But if not....well I am not sure I even *passed* one of the classes b/c of the way the things are graded here, I just don't get.....

4.  I suck at asking for help.  I'm almost 36.  I should GET it by now.  I should be independent and have it down.  But I still manage to fuck it up- mainly b/c I don't know how to ask for help. 

5.  I'm terrified of what will happen if I have to go home.  I know I have talked about this before but where am I going to go?  What am I going to do?  Will I be able to find a job?

6.  I have sucked at eating well, drinking water, and haven't gone to the gym in ages.

7.  I haven't even had time to write about how I met David Tennant and how he is soft and smells like heaven, which sums it up really.

8.  Lastly, it would really be great if fucking grandpa would shut the fuck up about certain people.  No one wants to hear you shoot your gob off.  And now you are ruining one of my favourite shows.  NO LOVE.- me.

Name change and an update

My blogs have had various incarnations over the years.  I started blogging at neophytegirl.net a long time ago, when I had my own domain.  This was many years ago.  I know I had a backup of it sometime ago, but I can't find it.....at least at the moment.  I've had my LJ and now recently I had toocurvyagain at wordpress and abostongirlinglasgow which I merged into one. 

But I think it is time for a change.  I'm still a Boston girl.  I'm still in Glasgow.  But that isn't who I am and it isn't what defines me.  I was going to have a vote or a suggestion entry about what I should change the name of my blog to.  And then I realized, having someone else name it, won't work.

Hence- Cindy's struggles.  That is my name, and well my life has been a series of struggles. 

So that is that.

The London trip was fun and packed and yes, I met David Tennant and Catherine Tate.  The play was brilliant.  Absolutely brilliant- I want to go back and see it again and again (and if I can get down there to see it again, I will- after my dissertation is done, of course!)  I hope to get to write up about the play ASAP.

As far as the healthiness journey goes, I'm working on eliminating gluten to see if it helps with the headaches.  I hope to get back to the gym this week as well.  If it doesn't happen, I am not going to stress too much over it as I believe I have about 2 weeks to finish my dissertation, and that has to come first.  I will have plenty of time afterwards.

How do you deal with stress, deadlines, and workouts?

INXS at Southern Sounds Festival

Sorry it has taken so long to write this up!  I still need to upload my pics, but I just haven't had time!

Set list:
Suicide Blonde
Devil Inside
Kiss the Dirt
Pretty Vegas
Taste It  (no oral sexings this time :(  )  I don't care if it's old, it's still hot!
JD leaves.... :(
Acoustic of Don't Change- Kirk sings (This was beautiful!)
Mystify-en francais
New Sensation w/ some chick ( I totally missed her name!)
JD's back...!.
Beautiful Girl
The Stairs
Mediate
Need You Tonight
Not Enough Time
Disappear
Bitter Tears
Original Sin
What You Need
Never Tear Us Apart

Encore:
By My Side-Andrew sings
Mystify

The boys came out in matching black suits (kinda made me think of the Beatles,or really hot gangsters!) and JD's tie didn't stay on long at all!  They were rocking; and to me it was just like any of the other shows I had seen- the chemistry was still there!

I knew that this tour was to promote the new 'Original Sin' so I was not expecting to hear anything from 'Switch' so I was very excited when they played Pretty Vegas!

I was also bummed out when JD left, but it was really cool to have Kirk sing Don't Change.  However, I wasn't really thrilled with Mystify in French.  I prefer it to be all rocked out.

JD did come back out in an Original Skin tshirt and they rocked the classics!  I was excited to hear Mediate and The Stairs done live. 

I was hoping for a double encore, but the time ordinance people made sure the show ended at 9.  :(  I would have loved to have heard a rockin' Don't Change once again.

But don't take my word for it.  Here are some videos from that day in London!  (These are not mine!  I just searched youtube!)

Suicide Blonde

Never Tear Us Apart

Disappear

Pretty Vegas

The Stairs

The Power of Positive Thinking?

Anyone who knows me, or who reads this blog for that matter (which is probably why I don't get many comments) knows or has read that I am a glass is half empty kinda gal.  I am always negative.  Nothing is every right.  Nothing ever goes right.  I'm a mess, a disaster, and nothing good ever happens to me. 

I certainly feel that way right now.  This year has sucked so far.  I've had health issues.  My mum has died.  I've had academic issues.  My flat has been robbed, and belongings stolen.  I can't lose weight.  I was sick for over  a month.  I went to London and got spat on.  I could go on.

So while I am very aware of how negative I am, I wonder how much of this is the fault of negative thinking?  I mean I am sure I didn't have a cold/infection/whatever for a month + because I was upset about being ill.  I am sure my flat wasn't burgled because I am down on myself all the time, right? 

My question is, is that if I were more positive, would things go right?  Would finishing my dissertation be a breeze?  Will I meet David Tennant next week?  Will I get into the PhD programme or get a fab job offer?  Will I suddenly lose 20 pounds and get rid of this headache I've had for 5 years? 

Because I will be honest.  I am starting to panic.  My dissertation is due on 3 August.  (I had no idea what the due date was b/c I didn't see the attachment I was sent before today and I really thought I had more time.)  I still don't know what the deal will be with the PhD programme.  I was under the impression that all the document were received based on an email I received but I checked the online checker thing and it said it was on hold waiting for documents.  And if I don't get in, how am I going to get home?  Will I have a place to live, a job, anything?  I am really in a panic here.  People always say things will work out, but I don't want to go back home and be homeless and have nothing at all. 

So do I think positively and get on with it or do I keep with my negative (but realistic as I always thought) ways?  And that way I will be pleased when the outcome is positive, but not disappointed if it isn't. 


Ok.  Procrastination over.

Failure to communicate

I know many of you bloggers and readers out there (especially bloggers) have tied your careers in with your blog.  But what happens when something happens that makes you wonder if you are in the right field at all?

I've always been more book smart than social smart.  It's a no brainer.  I did REALLY well in my first Master's program.  I had a 3.75, and my lowest grade was a B+ and that was one class.  All my other classes were A or A-.

Now here in Glasgow, my grades are not remotely close to being where they were back home.  In fact I got a paper back today that pretty much ripped me a new one, told me I didn't understand the author, and so on.  (Which is interesting b/c I used the same argument in my first paper and did really well.)   I also wrote the paper in 2 days, not having realized it was due.  I was not really with it at the time with having just arrived back from the states and all of the heartache that those few weeks brought.

It is making me really question whether or not I am going to do well with my dissertation, and especially if I am even going to get into the PhD program.  And if I do get in, have I set myself up to fail already?  I know I should be using this as an opportunity for growth, but right now, I need to know if this is as good as I am going to get academically, and if I should just go back to what (I think) I'm good at.

In the end I know I will be ok if I am not accepted.  I can still use my dissertation as a jumping off point to write a book or paper on bullying if I choose to.   On the other hand, I was kind of getting excited to have those extra letters after my name.....

Have any of you ever experienced work challenges like this?

Neuro update

So today was my actual neuro appt.  I went all the way to Southern General yesterday and found that the appt was today.  I'm SO smart.  I thought I was seeing a new neuro- but I saw the same one I saw the last time.

I gave him the rundown and he does not think that I have anything internally wrong with my head.  He does think the headaches are chronic daily treatment resistant migraines.  He gave me 2 choices.  To go back to the beginning and start over, or to go on a medication that causes severe weight gain and hair loss.  Which do you think I chose?  As if I need any more difficulties losing weight.  *eyeroll*

So I have to go to the GP tomorrow to get 2 new prescriptions.  One which is like amitriptaline that they can titrate up, and one for a triptan to help with the pain, but it can only be taken twice a week (so it's like playing Russian roulette as to when the headache is the worst.)

This has been going on 5 years.  5 years.  *sigh*

The price of being female

Today I did something I never thought I would.  I got my legs waxed.

Now I've attempted home waxing before, and it was a pretty failed attempt.  Time has passed and while it should, I repeat should be summer here (RAIN RAIN GO AWAY) shaving my legs is something that must be kept up in the summer, at least for me.  However, my shower is wee, and trying to shave in it is like being a contortionist.  So I decided I would go and have my legs waxed.  I mean, how bad could it be.  Women have parts more delicate waxed every day.  (Which is now something I will never EVER contemplate)

OH. MY. FREAKING A.  OW.

NEVER AGAIN.

If my mum were still alive she would be laughing at me so hard right now.  In fact I am sure she is.

It hurt.  My legs still sting.  Not to mention that she missed a few spots I had to clean up on my own.  Not to mention I already feel like I am stubbly.  Hrm.  Do I need to exfoliate again?

So that added to a day where I went all the way to Southern General to find that my neuro appt is tomorrow and I got rained on and I still don't feel 100%.  F-.

Tomorrow- on the docket: The neuro appt and a hope to get a haircut as well.  My bangs are out of control!

Today's eats

I am not sure if I am feeling so lethargic due to still being sick or the low carb diet.  I didn't get nearly enough done, napped, and not much else.

I wasn't as hungry today- but right now I am SO sick of chicken.  Ugh.  I just want a huge salad.  I may not make it through the all protein phase and just go right to protein + veggies and limit carbs.  I need energy for my brain to get my dissertation done, so maybe this wasn't the BEST time to try to cut carbs cold turkey.

Tomorrow I have a neuro appt.  With my 6th neuro. :(

Breakfast:
2 scrambled eggs
oat bran pancake
coffee

lunch
can of tuna
1/2 chicken breast
cucumber stuff that Steph made and I didn't want it to go bad

dinner
2 chicken breasts
1/2 pancake Steph didn't eat earlier

dessert
activia yogurt + some fat free plain yogurt

And with that- bedtime!

New diet plan

While I was waiting to see the doctor the other day, I was thumbing through some magazine and there was a feature on the Dukan diet.  When I got home with my weeks worth of antibiotics I did some research on it, did up my profile, and decided that I would try this out.

What it entails:
A 4 phase plan where you start off with protein foods, then merge into the  next stage where you alternate protein days with protein and veggie days, and then into the last 2 phases where you begin to slowly add in "regular" foods and learn to eat in moderation.  (The website and book make this more clear than I am right now I am sure.)

The website gave me an idea of how long I would be on each phase and a target weight as well. (the target weight is higher than my ideal goal- but given my difficulty in even losing a pound, having something that may seem more attainable is good for me right now.)  I'm eating eggs, chicken, fish, yoghurt, low fat dairy, and oat bran.  I haven't felt really deprived, but I have been hungry.

Now, for some of you this may seem like a fad diet or not healthy or dangerous, or not Earth friendly with the addition of protein sources.  I know that this may not be a perfect solution.  I know that I may not even agree 100% philosophically with the increased protein and no veggies/carbs in the attack phase.  However, having PCOS, and knowing I need to be on a lower carb diet b/c of this (as I have been told)  it is a realistic plan that has set things that I can and cannot eat, and that is what I need right now.   I also know it is not forever.  If I get to the end of my attack phase (7 days) and I have not seen results, I will stop. Steph has even agreed to do this with me (and has already lost over 6 lbs!).  Unfortunately, I have not seen the results she has.

Day 1: -3 lbs (YAY)
Day 2 +2 (BOO)
Day 3: +0.4 (BOO)


I could make excuses for this, but I don't really have any.  I've been following the plan. Granted I am still sick and on antibiotics, not to mention that the painters are in right now (just what I needed!), and who knows what either/both of those things have done to my body right now.  I will just have to wait and see.  The site said I should lose 6 lbs in the induction phase.  I hope I do.  I need a boost to my waistline and my self-esteem so that I can keep going and fighting.

What I ask for right now is support, not flaming or criticism for making this choice.  Thank you.

PS:  I also put in for a dietician referral.  Given how long it took for the neuro/pt one, I expect to get it by my birthday.

Still sick

I'm still sick.  :(   This is getting really old.  I've been sick since the week before the 5K.  Granted gallavanting all over London town last weekend did me no favours.  However, it's been a month.  I should be feeling better.  I'm on antibiotics.  The doctor said after 48 hours I'd be feeling better.  It's been 4 days.  I still feel exhausted, drained, and miserable.  :(

I did manage to make it out of the house today to try and work on my dissertation.  (As you can see I am working hard.)

I really hope I am back to myself soon.  I am tired of feeling this way and having everything be a federal project.  I put away laundry last night and it wiped me out. That, and I have booked in for Pilates on Tuesday and I want to be feeling well enough to go.

I hope you're all having a nice weekend!

Thank you

Thank you to everyone who posted comments about my trials and tribulations and everyone who offered support over Facebook and Twitter re: our break in.

We have had the police check for fingerprints (no go) and they did take some DNA swabs from the computer cables.  So far no news.  I honestly am not expecting any.  This way I don't get my hopes up and magically hope my computer arrives back in perfect condition.  So I am buying a new one today (despite the fact I'm low on funds) b/c I cannot live here at the library 24/7 every time I need to use a computer and using my iPhone as much as I love it, is not conducive to doing work.

I'm still sick.  :(  This has been going on a month and I am going back to the GP today and I am begging for something b/c I am so tired of feeling ill.  I didn't sleep well last night, half on the couch, half in bed, alternating from freezing and sweating and being unable to breathe through my nose.  :(  My sinuses feel like they have cement inside them.  :(

I also plan on asking about a dietician referral.

I really hope I feel better soon b/c I miss Pilates and spinning!

In shock

While we were out at uni, we were robbed. All our computers- gone. So there goes a ton of my research. Not a good time to happen. Well it's never a good time to happen but......

I'm so freaked out. :(




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Fitblog from June 7th

I'm still blog catchup from last week when I was sick.

Q1. What current thought keeps you from being your healthiest right now?

I feel currently like I am a failure.  I'm at my highest weight.  I can't seem to get on a routine.  Even when I am working out and eating well, I am not losing weight.  I have been to doctors and all they tell me is to keep trying, that there is nothing wrong with me.  Maybe there isn't but it doesn't make me any less frustrated when just going up stairs makes me want to collapse.

Q2. What current action/habit keeps you from being your healthiest right now?

"Not having time."  I am post grad student trying to finish my dissertation so I spend a lot of time doing research and writing.  I also can't seem to get out of bed most days before noon.  Both these things are keeping me from being on a "normal" schedule.

Q3. What do you need to change that action? How can we help?

I need to find a way to reset my sleep schedule, get myself up earlier, always  have healthy options in place (or to be on some sort of plan be it Tony Ferguson, SlimFast or low carb as I seem to work better when I am on a restrictive plan- even if it is isn't 100% reasonable long term.  That was how I lost 85 lbs before, and it looks like I am the kind of person who needs to be all or nothing.  I guess I need assistance in figuring what plan would be best for me, and having someone to help me implement and stay on track.  Having comments and people rooting for me also would help.

Q4. What one feat/challenge (big or small) will you try/do/work towards this month?

I will try to drink 100oz of water per day.  That is a goal I can easily achieve.

A weekend of highs and lows (sorry it's long!)

This weekend was really awesome in some ways, and absolutely horrendous in others. I hope I can do justice in documenting it.


Thursday night: 
Steph and I took the overnight bus from Glasgow to London.  Let me warn you, folks.  Not a good idea.  While very cheap, it SUCKS.  We had hoped to spread out (like everyone else) but ended up having to sit together, which while fine, it just meant neither of us had much room.   It also meant I didn't sleep.  At all.  The bus itself was noisy, it was too light (for me), and the seats were uncomfortable.  The only good thing was the wi-fi.  Finally at 4ish I gave up trying to rest and listened to the Red Sox rout the Yankees, which gave me enough adrenaline to function once we arrived in London.


Friday: 
Once we arrived we set up camp in a Starbucks for a while (waiting for the commuter rush to be over) and had coffee and breakfast.  The pancakes were pretty good, IMO.  We hung out there for a while and then got on the Tube and headed to Leicester Square.  We walked around a bit, and then got more coffee at Costa and figured out the rest of the day.

We then got the tube and a train to Crystal Palace, where our hotel was.  Now, google maps really fucked up on this one and had us walk this RIDICULOUS way to the hotel up 2 massive hills where I was actually convinced I was going to have a heart attack and die.  My ankle was killing, I was starving, and I was walking up this hill that was insane.  And did I mention it was raining and I am carrying a heavy backpack?

We finally got to the hotel (early) and sat waiting for the room to be ready.  Finally, it was- all I wanted to do was sleep.  I didn't care that the restaurant that was advertised to be a part of the hotel didn't exist.  I just wanted to sleep.  I did just that. 

2 hours and change later, Steph woke me up.  Now, at this point, I really wish I had just told her to go on without me.  I was that tired.  (and in hindsight I wish I had).  I finally dragged myself into the shower and got ready.  We found an easier way to walk back to the train station and on the way stopped at a restaurant called the Grape and the Grain.  I had a falafel sandwich, and it was really, really good.  I was starving at that point and was planning on stopping at the first place we saw, I just needed to eat as it was a long time since those pancakes. 

We ate and then headed to the train station and took the train back into the city to go back into Leicester square.  It was our plan to wait for David Tennant and Catherine Tate after the evening performance of Much Ado.... (this was the backup plan in case when we see them later in the month that we had a chance for autographs).  When we got there the barriers were up, but no one was out waiting yet, so we figured we had some time to kill.  We wandered around and went to Amorino for gelato (the best gelato in the world IMO)


It was raining, so after the gelato, we found refuge in little shops, trying to stay dry.  It was at this point I began to get very panicked and nervous.  I have issues with social anxiety, which I think was the main contribution to being so panicked, and being exhausted- also a trigger.  When we arrived back at the barrier, Steph was so excited, I knew I couldn't ruin this for her, so I said I would just wait for her away from the theatre....

I paced around for a bit, and then decided so I went to get a coffee across from the theatre.  I ordered from the take away menu, but they had me sit down and they'd bring me my coffee.  They did and asked me to pay.  Now the menu said £1.80 and they now told me it was £2.70.  I explained I had asked for take away as I didn't have the £2.70 ( I had £2.66) and they didn't take cards either.  So the waitress went away to ask about it and came back and told me that they would have to take the coffee away and told me I needed to leave immediately.  (So they would rather lose 4 pence than put the coffee in a take away cup and give it to me?)  Humiliated, I walked away.  What I didn't know, was that this wouldn't be the most humiliating part of my evening yet.

I walked around back to the front of the theatre, but across the street to wait.  A group of quite possibly very drunk people came up to me and shoved me into the grate behind me, and walked away laughing.  Not much later, some random guy walked past me, said "fat bitch," and spit on me.  (Luckily I had a napkin in my pocket.)  I was humiliated and embarrassed, and I felt terrible- like I was back in high school being bulled and barked at on a daily basis.  And then of course (since I am doing my dissertation on bullying) began thinking of others who have had it so much worse and I realized I was getting a bit desensitized to this kind of behaviour, b/c when I tweeted about it so many people were in an outrage - (while I was blaming myself for how I looked, how I am, how I can't seem to get myself under control and lose weight and how painful doing some things is there by perpetuating the entire thing in a vicious cycle.)

Steph came back from getting Catherine Tate and David Tennant's autographs a little after, and I was very happy she was happy and glad she was done, b/c I just wanted to go back to the hotel- which we did after a bit of difficulty in trying to get a cab back to the hotel ( I was too tired and sore to walk the mile in the rain and dark.)

Saturday:
Saturday we had a big day planned.  We needed to check out of the hotel, go to Barking (on the other side of London) to Big Finish day to meet Colin Baker and Sophie Aldred, and then go back to the other side of London to Clapham Common to see INXS.  (When I made the original plans I was just going to the concert alone, and then when I won 2 tickets Steph decided to come with me and then we found out about Big Finish day, hence the back and forth.)

We headed out, got money and breakfast and took the overground, to the DLR, to the train to Barking.  We weren't 100% sure about the directions google maps gave us, so we took a cab to the location (good thing as the maps had it wrong).  We wandered around looking at merchandise and pictures and whatnot waiting for the celebs to come back from lunch. 

Finally we got a chance to talk to Colin Baker.  He was funny and gracious.  I told him we found his tweets funny, and he asked what my username was- I told him what it was and that I was the one who kept asking for the Bayban avatar.  He laughed and said he was trying to find a picture and would change it soon for me.  :)  He signed for us and then we went on our way to meet Sophie Aldred who took a picture with the Plushies for us!

She also signed for us and then we decided we had enough of the con and headed off to make our way to Clapham Commons.  We had time to kill, so we stopped at Starbucks to have a coffee before heading over.

We finally went over to the commons, and found a place to sit and relax.  It was nice out at that point, and there were plenty of people to watch and it was nice to just relax. 

Finally, INXS came on and I was so excited.  I jumped around and danced and sang along.  ( I am going to make a separate blog entry just for the show)

As soon as the show was over, we had to book it to the tube to get to Victoria station in time for the bus.  We made it just in time (had the tube not kept STOPPING for no reason, we would have had plenty of time.)  The bus driver was very rude to me and told me that usually they leave 5 minutes early (if you leave at 10 you should leave at 10) and that we should have gotten there earlier.  I explained that we got lost trying to find the bus area as it isn't attached to Victoria.  He didn't care and told us we couldn't bring dinner on as it was hot food.  (what is the friggin' difference between a hot and cold sandwich).  I didn't care, I shoved it in my bag and ate it anyway.  I was starving!

We couldn't even sit together on the bus b/c people were all spread out and wouldn't share or move so we could sit together.  It was extremely rude and I was really pissed off.  And the guy I ended up sitting next to kept spreading over into my seat- at one point I was sitting on the handle and had no where to move- I was going to sit on the floor in the aisle at that point!  I didn't sleep at all again, and I was SO glad when we got back to Glasgow. 

We got home at about 7ish, I changed and passed out until about 4 in the afternoon, got up and ate dinner, and went back to bed.  I am still tired now, but not as much. 

And how was  your weekend?

How do you do it?

Every day I read a lot of blogs (mostly when I should be working on my dissertation) and one thing I've noticed overall is how almost all the writers are up early working out or up early working (even if they aren't working in the workplace.)

As a grad student I make my own hours, and I find it difficult to get up before noon.  Getting up today at around 10:30ish was killer and required a nap later on. Even when on vacation in London when we had to get up for free breakfast (which is a real motivator in my books) we managed it twice. And that was only making sure we were up by 9:20, a feat which should be relatively easy.

Even when I was working full time and had to get up at 6ish, it was difficult and it took a lot of coffee to get me going.  Don't even get me started on trying to workout before.  The few times I attempted it left me red faced, sweaty and icky, and that was before dealing with the kids at school!

So, how do you do it?  Is sleeping late the cause of my weight gain and inability to lose weight?  Is it the wacky hours I keep?  Is it eating dinner at 9pm or later?  Or is it my laziness? Is it caused by being so far away from home and knowing that if I go out, when I come back I have to walk up 3 flights of stairs which makes my ankle hurt and my lungs want to collapse?  Is it a side effect of all those years of meds which never worked to try to fix my headache which still hasn't gone away, or from wrecking my body with Optifast in 2006?

Am I just making excuses?
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I think I know I am frustrated.  I expected in the 2 weeks I worked out a lot to have lost at least a pound.  Right?  I was eating better, working out, I had more energy.  So of course I gained 3 pounds.

Being sick for the past 2 weeks hasn't really helped and I've managed a handful of workouts and the 5K b/c I haven't had the energy or been able to breathe from the coughing to workout.  (I've been to the doctor- they said it lasts 2-3 weeks, and there is nothing they can do, I just need rest and fluids, which I've been doing.)

I hope after my quickie trip to London this weekend I will be feeling more myself and back to working out and whatnot.  Because I certainly do not want to feel this way anymore.


How do you overcome setbacks?  


Are you a morning person?