Le sigh

I was feeling good about myself and everything yesterday and had big ideas and dreams of a positive post today.  But now the end of the day has come, and those ideas are gone.

I'm just frustrated.  I'm frustrated b/c even with low carb, counting calories, or Tony Ferguson shakes I'm not losing weight.  In fact, I'm either the same or more every time I weigh.

I'm angry at myself for getting this far behind again.

I'm frustrated b/c it hurts to walk (foot and shoulder) which means working out seems like a far off place.

I hate being jealous of my girlfriend who gets skinnier by the day.

I hate that I had surgery partially to make working out easier, and then never worked out afterwards.

I hate feeling this way.

I know the only way to overcome it is to change with healthy habits and a positive attitude.   If only my heart and desire could make the rest of me do it.