11 July 2011
09 July 2011
Commence freak out . . . .NOW
I have a lot on my plate right now. I need to finish my dissertation. I'm waiting to hear if I got into the PhD program. Right there, is enough. What I don't need is the added stress, is that I'm almost out of money.
I knew living on student loans wasn't going to be easy. But I also didn't expect the added financial strain of having to replace things b/c my flat was broken into. Hence, the money I would have still had and needed, and everything would have been perfect as punch.
But no.
So I now need to weed through my belongings and see what I can sell, pawn, and whatnot, so I can pay my rent and utilities for August. At least I have a good 2+ weeks to figure this out.
And let's hope I get into that PhD program, b/c I certainly don't have any money for a flight back to the US. :/
08 July 2011
I have a secret
Not only do I have a fabulous change to share very soon, but I also have a secret. I really want to tell, but I'm afraid it may be too good to be true, so I am going to hang on to it just a little bit more.
I met with my advisor today. He is pleased with my dissertation so far. *phew* I need to add a lot to my intro, and my chapters on policy, and add a total new one (that I will now have to research!) but it's all good. He said I do not need 2 weeks to print and bind, so I have the rest of this month to get it done. *double phew* He even said to take the weekend off! HAHAHAHAHA as if! I did take the rest of today off to do household chores like cleaning, vaccumming, dishes, laundry, etc, and to take a glorious nap. I didn't sleep well last night. I was worried about oversleeping the alarm!
As I was cleaning and putting things away I managed to break my dresser.
Who manages this?
So now I have a pile of clothes on the floor, and no glue or tools to fix it. *sigh*
I'm going to go read something unrelated to my research and relax.
What do you think my secret is?
I met with my advisor today. He is pleased with my dissertation so far. *phew* I need to add a lot to my intro, and my chapters on policy, and add a total new one (that I will now have to research!) but it's all good. He said I do not need 2 weeks to print and bind, so I have the rest of this month to get it done. *double phew* He even said to take the weekend off! HAHAHAHAHA as if! I did take the rest of today off to do household chores like cleaning, vaccumming, dishes, laundry, etc, and to take a glorious nap. I didn't sleep well last night. I was worried about oversleeping the alarm!
As I was cleaning and putting things away I managed to break my dresser.
Who manages this?
 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| WTF? |
I'm going to go read something unrelated to my research and relax.
What do you think my secret is?
07 July 2011
I'm Not Sorry
This blog post idea, stolen blatantly from Joanna. Check out her blog. She is a friggin' hoot!
I'm not sorry I changed the name of my blog. Again. A woman is entitled to change her mind. :) It needed a change, and I am glad I did it. All the previous posts are still there, if you care to peruse.
I'm not sorry I have not drunk the correct number of glasses of water lately. I need the caffeine to keep me going as I finish this dissertation.
I'm not sorry for bitching incessantly about this dissertation. I am stressed to the gills and I need to let it out somehow, or I may explode.
I'm not sorry I haven't worked out. Ok maybe a little bit sorry. It would probably help with the stress. But right now when I need to choose between writing and sleep or working out- well you know which one is going by the wayside. (There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and in a week or 2 I will be back to the sane person I usually am HAHAHAHAHAHA!)
I'm not sorry about that really bad joke I just made.
I'm not sorry I went to London last week and got no work done. How many times in life am I going to be able to say I saw David Tennant performing Shakespeare?
I'm not sorry I just spent 15 minutes writing this up. Sometimes I need to get away from bullying, cyber bullying, and bullycide. How I don't spend the entire time writing sobbing my eyes out is a miracle.
What are you not sorry for?
I'm not sorry I changed the name of my blog. Again. A woman is entitled to change her mind. :) It needed a change, and I am glad I did it. All the previous posts are still there, if you care to peruse.
I'm not sorry I have not drunk the correct number of glasses of water lately. I need the caffeine to keep me going as I finish this dissertation.
I'm not sorry for bitching incessantly about this dissertation. I am stressed to the gills and I need to let it out somehow, or I may explode.
I'm not sorry I haven't worked out. Ok maybe a little bit sorry. It would probably help with the stress. But right now when I need to choose between writing and sleep or working out- well you know which one is going by the wayside. (There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and in a week or 2 I will be back to the sane person I usually am HAHAHAHAHAHA!)
I'm not sorry about that really bad joke I just made.
I'm not sorry I went to London last week and got no work done. How many times in life am I going to be able to say I saw David Tennant performing Shakespeare?
I'm not sorry I just spent 15 minutes writing this up. Sometimes I need to get away from bullying, cyber bullying, and bullycide. How I don't spend the entire time writing sobbing my eyes out is a miracle.
What are you not sorry for?
05 July 2011
True Confessions Tuesday
Please do not read if you are offended by the liberal use of the f word (and all its cognates) or if you don't want to read about my screw ups and probably my terrible spelling b/c I am typing in a rage.
1. I think I totally fucked up my dissertation. I've never written one before and I was given no real guidelinews- I was told just to do it. Well that is what I did. And I have been writing it like an essay- actually more like how the book I hope to write using this as background would go. Which apparently thanks to Steph and her finding a book on writing a dissertation, (PHEW) IS WRONG.
I'm supposed to have a research question and a method. Well you see, after I came back from ther states there wasn't time to get my research approved, so I have just been doing it as an essay, not with the planned way I had with the research and the bunnies and everything. (Ok no bunnies, but whatever).
So now I need to figure out if I can salvage the 10K words I have written without having to start over when I have about a week, 2 at the most to finish.
Of course my advisor is away until Friday. FML.
2. The above is all my fault. I just have had such a hard time getting back in to it..since I came back from the states...and I just want to cry and yell and scream because I am very fucking angry. I fucking miss her and I hate this and everything. It is not fucking fair. And before you ask, I have talked to someone, 2 someones in fact and it didn't help. I am sorry but there is no in your time of need angel sitting on my fucking shoulder right now. I think that is a load of bollocks- no disrespect to those of you who believe that, but I don't see it.
3. I have no idea what I'm doing. I have no idea what is going to happeb after this dissertation- if I can pull it off and get the degree and get into the PhD program. Good. Brilliant. Fantastic. But if not....well I am not sure I even *passed* one of the classes b/c of the way the things are graded here, I just don't get.....
4. I suck at asking for help. I'm almost 36. I should GET it by now. I should be independent and have it down. But I still manage to fuck it up- mainly b/c I don't know how to ask for help.
5. I'm terrified of what will happen if I have to go home. I know I have talked about this before but where am I going to go? What am I going to do? Will I be able to find a job?
6. I have sucked at eating well, drinking water, and haven't gone to the gym in ages.
7. I haven't even had time to write about how I met David Tennant and how he is soft and smells like heaven, which sums it up really.
8. Lastly, it would really be great if fucking grandpa would shut the fuck up about certain people. No one wants to hear you shoot your gob off. And now you are ruining one of my favourite shows. NO LOVE.- me.
1. I think I totally fucked up my dissertation. I've never written one before and I was given no real guidelinews- I was told just to do it. Well that is what I did. And I have been writing it like an essay- actually more like how the book I hope to write using this as background would go. Which apparently thanks to Steph and her finding a book on writing a dissertation, (PHEW) IS WRONG.
I'm supposed to have a research question and a method. Well you see, after I came back from ther states there wasn't time to get my research approved, so I have just been doing it as an essay, not with the planned way I had with the research and the bunnies and everything. (Ok no bunnies, but whatever).
So now I need to figure out if I can salvage the 10K words I have written without having to start over when I have about a week, 2 at the most to finish.
Of course my advisor is away until Friday. FML.
2. The above is all my fault. I just have had such a hard time getting back in to it..since I came back from the states...and I just want to cry and yell and scream because I am very fucking angry. I fucking miss her and I hate this and everything. It is not fucking fair. And before you ask, I have talked to someone, 2 someones in fact and it didn't help. I am sorry but there is no in your time of need angel sitting on my fucking shoulder right now. I think that is a load of bollocks- no disrespect to those of you who believe that, but I don't see it.
3. I have no idea what I'm doing. I have no idea what is going to happeb after this dissertation- if I can pull it off and get the degree and get into the PhD program. Good. Brilliant. Fantastic. But if not....well I am not sure I even *passed* one of the classes b/c of the way the things are graded here, I just don't get.....
4. I suck at asking for help. I'm almost 36. I should GET it by now. I should be independent and have it down. But I still manage to fuck it up- mainly b/c I don't know how to ask for help.
5. I'm terrified of what will happen if I have to go home. I know I have talked about this before but where am I going to go? What am I going to do? Will I be able to find a job?
6. I have sucked at eating well, drinking water, and haven't gone to the gym in ages.
7. I haven't even had time to write about how I met David Tennant and how he is soft and smells like heaven, which sums it up really.
8. Lastly, it would really be great if fucking grandpa would shut the fuck up about certain people. No one wants to hear you shoot your gob off. And now you are ruining one of my favourite shows. NO LOVE.- me.
02 July 2011
Name change and an update
My blogs have had various incarnations over the years. I started blogging at neophytegirl.net a long time ago, when I had my own domain. This was many years ago. I know I had a backup of it sometime ago, but I can't find it.....at least at the moment. I've had my LJ and now recently I had toocurvyagain at wordpress and abostongirlinglasgow which I merged into one.
But I think it is time for a change. I'm still a Boston girl. I'm still in Glasgow. But that isn't who I am and it isn't what defines me. I was going to have a vote or a suggestion entry about what I should change the name of my blog to. And then I realized, having someone else name it, won't work.
Hence- Cindy's struggles. That is my name, and well my life has been a series of struggles.
So that is that.
The London trip was fun and packed and yes, I met David Tennant and Catherine Tate. The play was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant- I want to go back and see it again and again (and if I can get down there to see it again, I will- after my dissertation is done, of course!) I hope to get to write up about the play ASAP.
As far as the healthiness journey goes, I'm working on eliminating gluten to see if it helps with the headaches. I hope to get back to the gym this week as well. If it doesn't happen, I am not going to stress too much over it as I believe I have about 2 weeks to finish my dissertation, and that has to come first. I will have plenty of time afterwards.
How do you deal with stress, deadlines, and workouts?
But I think it is time for a change. I'm still a Boston girl. I'm still in Glasgow. But that isn't who I am and it isn't what defines me. I was going to have a vote or a suggestion entry about what I should change the name of my blog to. And then I realized, having someone else name it, won't work.
Hence- Cindy's struggles. That is my name, and well my life has been a series of struggles.
So that is that.
The London trip was fun and packed and yes, I met David Tennant and Catherine Tate. The play was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant- I want to go back and see it again and again (and if I can get down there to see it again, I will- after my dissertation is done, of course!) I hope to get to write up about the play ASAP.
As far as the healthiness journey goes, I'm working on eliminating gluten to see if it helps with the headaches. I hope to get back to the gym this week as well. If it doesn't happen, I am not going to stress too much over it as I believe I have about 2 weeks to finish my dissertation, and that has to come first. I will have plenty of time afterwards.
How do you deal with stress, deadlines, and workouts?
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